11:00 am 

Good morning everybody!

I have one episode left of Please Don't Date Him. I binged 3 episodes Saturday night, and I can't wait to watch the last one tonight. It's been awesome so far, and as I'm 99% certain the ending is happy (everything else about the show gives the vibe that all these misunderstandings will be resolved, and its what I'm gathering from everyone's reviews) I'm very excited for it! 

Also, I'm starting a blog soon called "Does it Have a Happy Ending?" where I post the ending outcome of all the Kdramas I've seen with a rating of each ending. Because I don't think such a thing exists and if there's other people out there who cannot handle anymore sad endings in Kdramas, then it will be useful to them <3.

Until then! Xoxo

-SS

8:50 am

Hi everyone! 

One good (or honestly, great) thing about living in the 21st century is that you can find almost everything you want! (OK, I do have difficulty finding the emost basic things sometimes, but like today, I wanted to find plug in tea lights so I didn't have to keep replacing batteries all the time for my lanterns, yk? and right away they come up: rechargable tea lights; that's genius! I'm glad somebody thought of it before me!)

Also I will have to make a new post soon about the lanterns, because I'm going to start making them right, and this time they will have pictures. I have a nonstick mat coming and more wooden dowels, so I can unpeel all the dried tea bags sitting on top of the microwave right now. 

I'll also have more tips on that post with what has worked better for me.

~~~

(Bear with me in hearing about IGTYWTWIN again. I have one last thing to get off my chest, more to do with the emotions rather than the show in itself)

If I was Hae Won, I'd never be able to get over Eun Sob- not after hearing him say "Hae-Won-ah"  so many times. I don't f-ing get it, honestly. I'm not going to cuss, I never cuss. But although I am over the show, (yes, believe it or not), it still puzzles me from time to time when I think on my own possible future of falling in love, and why- how- I'm not strong enough to hold onto my habits & familial cycles that much! 
It's just when I think of Eun Sob it gets to me again because he was So Nice and So Sweet and So (insert any strong describing or emphasizing word here) Undeserving of her treatment of him and she's So Dumb for not realizing that he was one in a million, and I'm honestly jealous of her and hope for nothing less than just a maybe slightly more bubbly version of Eun Sob myself . . . you know how if someone says your name it supposedly makes you more attatched to them? (Maybe I just made that up rn), but according to science (and just common emotional sense 😭) there is no way she moved on just like that- honestly it was so unrealistic for her to not come running back for good at the end, and so unsatisfying, too! 

Anywayyy ~

The weather is supposed to be a lovely 77F degrees today - beautiful for March!

Signing off, 
-SS

                                                                            

 9:27am 

Long time no see!

Hi guys!! How is everybody??

On Friday night I finished a short Kdrama called Jinx and it was pretty good! Idc if the shows I like are cheesy or predictable or whatever, because I love rom-coms and I like them better in a Kdrama than an American movie. I've decided I do not like the "slice of life" genre at all. It starts out great, and ends horribly. And then I use too harsh of words when describing it to other people because they ask why I didn't like it, but really I'm just too worked up about how they led us on so far and then disappointed us at the end. You can't blame me for being pi**ed off!

But I also started a show on Saturday night, this one will take me a little longer, because it's 12(?) episodes, I think, and they're all 1 hour. I was going to watch the really stupid looking show called "Meow the Secret Boy", but when I was reading about it, although it looked like it could be a guilty pleasure show, it didn't really sound worth the watch, so it's out of my watchlist. The one I'm watching now is called "Please Don't Date Him", and I like it a lot! 

However, I am afraid that the ending is going to be really bad or something. Idk if I'll want to finish it, tbh. Maybe i should just stop here and pick something else before i get my heart broken! Or I'll just man up - tell myself "It's just a kdrama". I think I'll finish it and hope to God that the ending is good. 

 8:58 pm

Hello everybody!!

Here is the dream I had <3 <3 <3

(I deeply apologize for the crustiness of these photos but I did my best).

NOTE: This is NOT fanfiction!!

11:34 am

Good morning everybody!!

I went out to the post office in a blizzard, but there was nothing there. It's not that bad out, though, which I'd attribute to its being only 20 something Fahrenheit and not 10 degrees or under. 
But if you just have your earbuds in, it warms up and the world doesn't really seem that cold.

I have to tell you all about my dream. The most beautiful dream in the whole world. I'll post it after a bit. <3

I'll be back then!

-SS

 8:37pm

This is perhaps the last I will have to say about Eun Sob, but he did inspire this blog, after all, so it feels as though he belongs here. 

But I said I didn't understand him. I said I didn't understand his silly decision. I do now. I realised that I do. It takes great strength to not be afraid of failure. To not be afraid of getting the things you want. It's so much easier to let it remain a dream. The more I mull over the end of this show, the more I feel deeply hurt and upset for Eun Sob. Nobody deserves that. The more I realize the blatant cruelty she bestowed upon Eun Sob even though she claimed to love him. And I'm sure Hae Won did, and I know it's just a show, but, how, how could she? How dare she?? She played with an introvert's heart- an introvert of introverts- she brought to light his deep & secret longings, fleshed them out, made his whole dream come true, only to dash it in front of his eyes. Only to tell him without saying it outright that he could never truly have what he wanted. Only to leave. 

To leave . . .

Do we really just leave the people we love that easily? Without hesitation? For selfish reasons? Maybe with tears, but . . . can one really just leave like that? I don't think I could. I don't see why anyone would. To me, there is no good enough reason, and I truly cannot understand her. But I guess I'm also just someone who would do anything for love. Especially such a true love, like that!! Hae Won is plastic. She doesn't deserve someone as golden as Eun Sob. I don't blame him for not running out after her either. Should he have? yes, he should have. But also, everything was probably just fitting a little too snugly for him to try and twist the hands of fate. First she comes back at all. Shows up at his door multiple times. Then somehow ... somehow she falls in love with him! Ah . . . the blissful deafness before the heart shatters into a million pieces. It's always right after heaven seems to have been brought down . . . oh the hell that takes form in a broken and shattered dream. In a broken and shattered heart. How utterly depressing. How utterly heartless, hateful, and horrible. It's so awful. She's so horrible. The more I think about how someone could do that, no matter how sincerely she loved him, she dropped him without a second thought and for a horribly stupid reason. I cannot understand her. My mind refuses to understand. It will not compute what happened. It will not. 
And then his uncle comes and makes him doubt. And then, just when everything was so perfect and everyone is comforting everyone else and everything is sweet, CRASH. and there goes Eun Sob's heart forever. His trust forever, I'm sure. His happiness.

Gone. Just like that. Just for what, though?

I understand you, Eun Sob.

I understand him now. 

-SS

 8:42pm

Good morning everybody-

even though it's not morning

Good morning everybody-

even though it feels like I'm relearning

That everything is changing

nothing is the same forever

But that doesn't change

anything

And I just feel 

like no one is listening

No, this isn't the poem 

I've been meaning to write

But I guess I can't choose

what comes to me tonight.

I didn't ask for this and

you won't ask me 

what it is

But I know

that if I try to tell you -

I know that still,

you won't listen

Drive You Home- Jackson Wang

From time to time in the midst of my good life, I feel Eun Sob's disappointment through the unwatched episode that lies at the end of our deserted show. I can hear him through the knowledge of an episode left unwatched, mourning silently. Do these people ever break? I think I'm one of them. Sometimes I wish we would. Just crumble. Just to see if anyone will pick us up. I think I did, but it didn't motivate anyone to save me; and maybe I just didn't give them enough time, because when I saw a quote that said "no one is coming to save you- get up.", I decided to get up. But maybe I needed to pick myself up because there were people around me too young and fragile to have to experience what I was experiencing, so here I am, and now I'm just feeling left behind and left alone. Can I crumble now? Can I? should I. . .