4:50pm

Good morning blog   : ) : )

So I got my Kidsaint jacket!! And I pasted a new cover onto my Bible!! And I posted another message for J on the unsent project. 
But I think he is in Korea now. And for the summer. I am not afraid of anything because I know that I live through all my fear. I was so crippled with fear of life in general the past weeks but I know that so far into the future are things we just have to believe will happen. We just have to believe. And life doesn't always make itself up to you, but it sometimes weakly tries. And maybe everything I want will come true. But why am I always the romantic one??

I was so happy and thrilled about this jacket, and she posted my reviews on Instagram and her husband commented "🔥🔥🔥" and I felt so cool in the coolest jacket <3

And here are pictures of my recovered Bible <3

My fourth post to J on the unsent project, because they have 4 different shades of green and I wanted to finally do all 4 shades for him. He will never know, so I single them out before they have a chance to bury themselves too deep.

Lyrics from The Sound

And realistically, I am fully aware of how stupid I am; of how much I rely on both faith and fantasy; and I am more than fully aware of how completely pathetic, empty, and pointless it feels sometimes. But when I wake up in the middle of the night, or have a random vivid dream all of a sudden, or I go to sleep with a remembered vision . . . I remember . . . 

I remember, and life won't let me forget. I can believe and I don't believe that it is stupid, as stupid as it feels. 

So I get to be covered in "I am safe inside uncertainty" and forge ahead. I believe. I believe. I believe.

-SS